I am not a feminist. Trust me.

November 23, 2007

I am not a feminist.  Please do not ever mistake me for one.  Feminists love men, feminists yearn for men to seek the best within themselves, for men to be free of the terribly, terribly unfair societal expectations which forces them to be that which they are not.  Feminists believe all men are human, just because men claim to be. Even when men emphasized their humanity at the point of an ancient spear or through the modern passage to manhood via 4chan, feminists can be relied upon to stand behind their boy in the hopes that he becomes a man.  Feminists think that men are merely one carefully explained gender deconstruction away from enlightenment, and if the perfect magic words are never spoken to awaken the sleeping prince, then surely she has only herself to blame. The toad is never responsible, never ever notice what’s that you say? lalala don’t make me think lalala it hurts too much lalaLA MYFINGERSAREINMYEARSICAN’THEARYOU. 

But to be sure, men have improved considerably, and it is to the genuine, hard-working feminists to whom our gratitude is sincerely owed.  While there is still much work to be done, the trend toward true gender equality is moving forward.  

Unfortunately, trends change.  That is the definition of a trend – they are not reflections upon traits which are inherent.  Trends are the result of a multitude of factors, and frequently move backwards and forwards over time, sometimes taking thousands of years to ascind, plateau and decline.  This is why, in the high-stakes game of women’s autonomy and safety over the centuries, trends do not impress me when compared to men’s natural or inherent desires. Let’s talk in twelve thousand years time. How many rapes do you think will occur between now and then? How many women’s voices shunted and silenced off to the side, made invisable to a blind man passing her by? Can you even imagine twelve thousand years, of one trend moving this way and that, influenced by this, and another trend moving here and there, influenced by that, with no intersection at all?  You surely are aware that intersections are at the root of it all, my friend.

Feminists believe one day men will stop raping women as if it’s a national sport.  That day is not today.  Today, or rather last night, I was flipping though feminist blogs after a pumpin pie sugar-induced high, and came across the following story by the brillant Sparklematrix and sweet Hearrt, here’s the point:

Eight teenaged boys have escaped a jail term for their sexual abuse, rape and torture of a 17 year old girl in the Werribee case from last year.

They even flaunted their privileged audacity to film the abuse of the girl who also suffers from mild learning difficulties.

A judge ruled they should complete a rehabilitation program to prevent them repeating their “callous” crimes.

They filmed themselves raping her repeatedly, copies sold for $5 each, and because that just wasn’t enough, they also set fire to her hair, urinated on her, and wrote the name of their home-made video production on her breast, which was cleverly entitled, “CUNT – The Movie”.  Their mammas were shocked, denied that their sweet little angels could have ever done such a thing, and naturally blamed the girl. I don’t even have to read this to know what happened, history repeats itself continually. Of course they get a free pass for all this, because they were just doing what normal boys do for fun, and why do you have a problem with that??? 

But that’s not what compelled me to break a three month hiatus, sojourners.  Oh no, this,or rather what this pattern indicates in light of some additonal information, is what motivated me into writing today. Here are the highlights, read at your own peril.

A 15-YEAR-old girl was put in a Brazilian jail cell with more than 20 men, and for a month was raped relentlessly and forced to have sex for food, human rights groups say.

“She was raped from day one” at the jail in Para state, a Children and Adolescent Defence Centre (Cedeca) spokeswoman said.

“Nobody really knows what she was charged with. She was a suspect in a robbery but police were unable to tell us which robbery. There was no formal charge,” Ms Cohen said.

Media reports of the case have sparked outrage across Brazil, especially since it closely followed an earlier incident of a 23-year-old woman who was also jailed in Para state for one month together with 70 men.

A month is not an accident. A flimsy excuse without proof or evidence to lock a 15 year old girl up with 20 men for a month is premeditated sex slavery and torture.   A second victim, while not technically enough to constitue a pattern, at least indicates the general attitude toward women and sexualized violence, given that necessity requires the willful complicity of many layers of deliberate blindness,  especially in a government run facility, for it to have happend at all.  Who really knows for sure how many other women were simply murdered after the men had their fun, or too afraid to talk?   Does it matter?  Numerous management personel had to have known, and no one cared one whit until their month of fun was up.  I’m sure they’re all good family men, and well respected in their communities.  Their mothers and sisters and wives and yes even daughters will cry with one breath, “oh no, not my Nigel.  Surely she was a just a prostitute, looking for overtime.”

pardon me while I puke.   really I can’t stand it anymore.  it is never going to be safe to be a woman in this world.

It takes an animal, or a herd of animals, to be that cruel.  Some animals probably convinced themselves that “she liked it” as she sat there frozen in pain and misery, wondering if she was going to get out alive.  Other animals most likely enjoyed her pain, her pain that they caused, pain that they were proud they caused.  They probably laughed at her.  Many more  animals probably wanted to be in there but couldn’t, in there with the shit and the stink and the blood, in there watching a young girl dying inside, in there watching a young girl wishing she were dead.   But that’s not the worst and you know it.  You know that there are countless more animals reading about it, wishing, wishing, wishing it coulda woulda shoulda been them that got to mark her with their hate.  Animals who wouldn’t go as far as these animals did, but animals who contribute in a hundred small ways every day just to let you know that because you dare to breath while being female, you will always be unsafe.  Always.  Animals who look just like Nigel.  Animals who are Nigel.

Fuck you and your goddamn fucking Nigel.  Do you understand what denial is, and that even feminists are not immune from needing a painfully logical progression of thoughts to stop?  Do you understand why you shout “not my Nigel”  or “but all men aren’t like that” when confronted with uncomfortable ideas?    Your patriotic Nigel circle jerk is a flashing red STOP sign for your brain.   Bad thought getting too close?  Hit the brakes!  Just focus on your safe, comforting Nigel, your personal suitcase of Nigels in a field of predators who would willing throw every women under the bus but you.   You can stop thinking now, you’ve reached your destination.  You don’t have to take the next logical thought in the queue.  You don’t have to face an unbearable reality, because you have one stinking lousy ONE distraction to focus on: Nigel.

A friend of mine once explained to me why years ago, why white folks didn’t want to admit flat out that racism existed.  But somehow she doesn’t understand why misogynists hide their of hatred of women under a guise of misdirections.  She doesn’t understand why misogynists deny and minimize the problems facing women long after proof to the contrary has been presented.  She doesn’t understand why misogynists will want to clarify and argue definitions until she is blue in the face, and still ask for more and maybe “can we start at the beginning again, please, I’m confused”.  She doesn’t understand why most of society nonchalantly perpetuates the myths that causes real-life harm to real-life women every single day – even though everybody and their grandma has heard at least a trillion gender deconstructions by now.  She wants them to admit that there exists an actual hatred and hostile War on Women.

Admitting a problem exists is only desirable when the goal is solving the problem.

The good done by men does not compensate for the harm done to ALL women.

Trends change, inherency is forever.

There is way out, my darling sojourners… If you but blow right through that stop sign and never look back.  Please visit again, and thanks for reading.  Erstwhile wayward travelers may expect some friendly feminst disagreement,  lost baggage, inclimate weather, or other Acts of Goddess to be generated by this humble blog.  I said, dearest sojourners, that MEN SUCK and they shall prove me right.  If you should wish to have any outgoing links disabled, just say the word.    Satsuma at Amy’s Brain provided inspiration theft for the lalaLA bit, they always know just what to say over there.

15 Responses to “I am not a feminist. Trust me.”

  1. They subjected that poor girl to a living nightmare for some good old male fun. You know – rape and torture! What sort of tiny dead minds finds pleasure condemning a human being to despicable terror? Oh nearly forgot – it’s as you say the freaking Nigel’s. And men have had the audacity through out the ages to sit round debating whether WE are human.

  2. feminazi Says:

    Hi Sparkle! Thanks for stopping by!

    The reason I get so frustrated with all the Nigels is that he is a nice guy. Women can get disgusted with “some” men, but they will never get disgusted with ALL men because “not all men are like that!” My point is that it doesn’t matter how many nice guys there are as long as 1) sexism harms ALL women.

    It is further compounded by 2) sexism is inherent. If sexism is inherent, then it will be with us like the tides, rising and falling, getting better some centuries, getting worse in later centuries.

    I’m beginning to think that even if women believed that sexism was inherent, they would still want to keep men around. Frankly, that attitude makes no sense to me. It’s like living next door to someone who keeps a wild animal as a pet..

  3. Mary Sunshine Says:

    Well, I’m not a feminist either. Just a man-hating separatist who wants to live in a female world.

    “Feminism” is a mind-fuck.

  4. feminazi Says:

    Yay Mary Sunshine!

    Well, I’m not a feminist either. Just a man-hating separatist who wants to live in a female world.

    Then perhaps it’s time to start elucidating exactly why men’s apparent improvement is a trend, and trends are not permanent. I’ve decided that perhaps I should spell out exactly what I think, instead of trying to make my blog posts deliberately confusing.

    We’re told over and over again that it’s WRONG to hate men, but why? That’s the biggest crock to come down the pike since Day One. If men aren’t ever going to stop being sexist pigs and causing actual harm to women, then disliking them on general principle is the only reasonable response.

  5. Satsuma Says:

    “I AM NOT A FEMINIST. Trust Me” just blew me away.

    Miss Andrea, I feel honored to be even quoted in a minor minor way in this article. Finally, a woman who is just going to stomp on these idiots out there who are going to defend the monsters until the end of time.

    Where modern feminism goes wrong, is women’s eternal justification of the half of the human race that is dead set to destroy women, one woman at a time. Every one of these men who rape or torture or go to war are “normal family men” so what will it take for the people who aid and abet these woman hating monsters to turn in those Nigels? What will it take for the William Kennedy Smith’s to get their just desserts? What will it take for women to refuse to have anything to do with men in public spaces?

    What will it take women for all of us to stand up and demand our freedom, and to defend ourselves against these animals that walk everywhere we are?
    Do you think that these men who rape and abuse women are going to just step aside and let you run the world? Do you think men are tamed? Do you actually believe that these masters of lieing and conning women with every stupid idea that comes out of their mouths are going to stop without a war?

    What will it take?

    Well read this damn post and learn something for once. We are not going to end the war on women, unless these misguided fools ( over half the population ) finally gets these truths.

    I try telling it sisters, I do. But they just get angry at me for calling the whimps and the cowards on their la la la denial. It is hard for women to look themselves in the mirror and be 100% honest, women are giving aid and comfort to the rapists, they are cooking dinner for Himmler, they are serving tea to George W., and they are making tea and crumpets for the next dictator in the home down the street where you live!

    Wake up women, get real and fight back with everything you’ve got. Stop having the sons that grow up to be the rapists, stop feeding the beasts when they come home from a hard day of harrassing other women at the office.

    Stop, and take command of your lives and souls. If you don’t, you might as well be classified as an accomplise in these rapes, murders and garden variety outrages against sisters everywhere.

    Remember the damn idiots who wanted to bring their young sons into women’s spaces? Dates me here, but I bet 12,000 years from now, if we’re all still here as humans, they’re still going to be doing it!

  6. thebewilderness Says:

    Damn, I love it when you’re shrill.

  7. m Andrea Says:

    Thank you Thebewilderness for coming over here, I was sure you were disgusted with me. If it matters, I’ve been learning how to communicate better with people who I disagree with, giving more respect and compassion. I’m tired of losing my temper and being disgusted with myself afterwards.

  8. m Andrea Says:

    Satsuma! That was beeeeutiful! You have a way with words, no wonder everybody steals everything you say. 🙂 I just came over here to post a new thing, I’ll reply to the question of denial and what to do about it over at Hearrrt’s.

  9. Satsuma Says:

    I am thinking about that river in Egypt 🙂

  10. Fuck you and your goddamn fucking Nigel.

    I think I might love you.

    Also thanks for the link.

    Keep going.

  11. Nine Deuce Says:

    Right on. If one looks across the broad span of history, across the entirety of the globe, save for a few overblown and overinterpreted bits of evidence of matrilocal/matrilineal societies in random corners of Asia and on insignificant islands (And who says matrilocal/matrilineal societies aren’t misogynistic? Matrilocal/matrilineal sure as fuck don’t equal matriarchal.), has there EVER been a time in human existence when men didn’t rape, kill, abuse, denigrate, oppress, shit on and/or fuck with women? Why would ANYONE believe that one clever turn of phrase (provided it’s the right one) is going to cause the kind of mass satori that will completely reorient a current that has (despite these trends you mention) been flowing the same way SINCE THE DAWN OF FUCKING TIME, ALL OVER THE WORLD? Sure, there are dudes who aren’t the devil. But who gives a fuck? Men, as a whole, are useless and hopeless. That I can’t will myself into lesbianism means I have to associate with a few of them, but I must admit that I still treat all of them with extreme suspicion, including the ones I’ve chosen to associate with, and I certainly don’t expect that they’re ever going to, all at once, decide women are human beings.

  12. Branjor Says:

    Just re-read this post, mAndrea, in light of recent blogospheric events. It is as timely and spot-on as ever. Nigel, Nigel, Nigel. It could be material for a comedy show if it wasn’t so sad and pathetic.

  13. rjjspesh Says:

    Totally earnest question here: Given that all males are inherently flawed… what should we do about it? Should we kill ’em off? 😛

    I’m only sort of kidding about that. I fantasize about being the one that shot Flynnt.

  14. m Andrea Says:

    Hi, thanks for reading Rjjspesh! I have argued elsewhere that the only humane option is simply not to reproduce any more of them and not to limit their civil rights as they die of old age, happily surrounded by all the women who love them as individuals.

    And, it sounds like pure fantasy to suggest that it is entirely possible to genetically alter a woman’s DNA such that she would give birth to only lesbian females who are capable of naturally reproducing with each other. It sounds like a fantastical feat, but we need to remember that when scientists don’t believe something to be possible then they don’t even try. It only takes one dedicated scientist, you know, and I like those odds. Especially given the state of genetic research now, with all that is known.

    The other thing is that while humans tend to deeply mourn the loss of people we know personally, we don’t have nearly the same depth of feeling for people we barely knew — especially when we find out that if those people had lived then they would have made our lives absolutely miserable. For instance: when you heard about the death of that NASTY old guy who used to live down the street from your grandmother, did you cry and wail and carry on? I didn’t think so! Sure, he had people who loved him, who thought he was a nice guy despite the nasty things he did to “some” people — but you yourself had only relief that he was finally gone.

    Most women, when contemplating these ideas immediately think of all the men they personally know and love, but in the process completely forgetting about all the women and girls they also know and love and who suffer constant injustice at the very hands of those same men. And too, women forget that this is not a choice that they are making just for themselves, but for their daughters, grand-daughters, great-grand-daughters etc who are relying upon them to make the right choice.

    Anyway, cheers and again thanks for reading!

  15. feministatsea Says:

    I completely agree with each and every word and that’s what scares me. I want to be able to express my disgust and hatred openly and out loud and not anonymously on some blog less than a hundred people a day read, but when I do people, men and women alike, are ready to punish me as much as they can get away with.

    You get threads and aggression and they talk in on you to try to make you belief you’re crazy. They almost succeeded with me a couple of times.

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