August 28, 2007

men suck men rape                       


Men suck, really.  Great big goober gobs of male suckage.  In, fact men suck so much that I’m going to say it fifty times in this one post alone.  Why do men suck more than your dad on Hoover Dam, you ask?  Because periodically I type the words “men suck” into Google, and feminists would never guess what pops up each and every time.  A thousand pages of men *not* sucking, that’s what.  Somehow very few women must ever type that phrase (MEN SUCK) because what I get instead of MEN SUCKING is a misogynistic rebuttal to MEN WHO SUCK.

Imagine me, tired from a long day of MEN SUCKING and wanting nothing more than to hear how many other women think MEN SUCK, and the first thing that pops up is step-by-step instructions on how to buy a foreign wife and smuggle her though customs without the in-laws finding out.  MEN SUCK big hairy donkey dicks.  I can say that because hate speech is frequently confused with free speech, but usually only when the subject is non-male, so my saying that MEN SUCK could possibly bring down the wrath of MEN WHO SUCK and especially MEN WHO SUCK DONKEY DICKS. 

Ever wonder why Google doesn’t cache more women writing MEN SUCK?  It could be because we of the lucidity would never be so droll as to type MEN SUCK; we of the verbosity would be more likely to fling “masculine culture predisposes one to suckalicious vascuity” into the ether like so much verbal confetti, quickly followed by “chromosomal Y-orientated suckadity pre-dates infinity” — and how do you google for that?  Real women do not write “MEN SUCK”.  Real women have standards, and de-gracing our keyboards with “MEN SUCKING DONKEY DICKS” is a tad beyond the pale.  If a woman were smart enough to wade through all the manipulative marketing borzhwa which tells her from birth onward that she is nothing without a MAN WHO SUCKS, then she is likely smart enough to find a more elequent method of expressing that sentiment without resorting to the undeniably plebian, MEN SUCK.

According to my top-secret feminazi manifesto, we can’t even say what rotten shits men really are, for fear potential allies will be spontaneously discombobulated by the truth.  Dearest genteel sojourners and wayward travelers, this makes no sense to me.  You either comprehend that a long pattern of male control-freakiness exists, or you find reality easier to ignore.  You either think women are endowed with full humanity and that automatically includes basic RESPECT, or you don’t and look for excuses to justify your pre-existing bigotry. If the rantings of one “man-hating” evil bitch is enough to loosen your mask of brotherly love and support for gender equality, then your mask is hereby exposed for what it hides: a two-faced, back-stabbing, double-dealing, lying DOG who was already shopping excuses for your preemptive backslide.

Dearest sojourners, I am so very tired of persnickety accusations that if only we would tone down our rhetoric, then men would not hack our forums and drive our finest off the internet.  How does it come to pass that their choices for their actions are our responsibility? 

Perhaps someday I’ll tell you how I really feel, but in the meantime this will do:  MEN SUCK.  Since all those half-baked fratmonkeys on steriods enjoy rousing rape “humor”, I hope they will appreciate my little witticism.  It’s the fem version, though, so I don’t expect them to get it.  I do expect for myself, however, the exact same thing that they demand every single day for themselves no matter where they go — the right to speak without being harrassed by fucking animals.  So without further ado, here it is: 

All men are not rapists & therefore some MEN SUCK less than others
All men are not assholes & therefore some MEN SUCK less than others
All men are not wife beaters & therefore some MEN SUCK less than others
All men are not feminist forum hackers & therefore some MEN SUCK less than others
All men are not misogynist control-freaks & therefore some MEN SUCK less than others


19 Responses to “MEN SUCK”

  1. Jenny Says:

    Well, it might be a joke, but it’s so so true. xD

  2. jokerine Says:

    Arggh! Must. get. out. of. visual. tetacles. of. flashy. pic. ture.

    Damn that was hard!

    Anyway, yeah, men suck 😉

  3. thebewilderness Says:

    So say the lucid ones. So say we all.

  4. thebewilderness Says:

    ‘Alloooo, are you there? Where?
    I hope all is well with you.

  5. justicewalks Says:

    Yes, please come back, mAndrea!

  6. A Says:

    I’m guessing the verbiage is our fault in much the same way that rape is eally our fault. Our real fault, it seems to me, is summed up in one word we so ought not to use: “let”, as in: men “let” us vote, “let” us work, “let” us speak.

    Maybe this is just my obsession with verbs run amok.

    Sorry I didn’t see your comments sooner, btw. I’ve been away from my blog for a bit. My blog posts are much like my housework: I’m always astonished at how much I get done in my mind…but not in any other astral plane.

    I enjoy your blog! Thanks!

  7. Lara Says:

    “Great big goober gobs of male suckage”

    I laughed so damned hard when I read this. Thank you, mAndrea. Haha, I’m still snickering.

  8. Nine Deuce Says:

    That flashing graphic rules. I think you’ve inspired me to be even less polite in my descriptions of male behavior.

  9. Mike Says:

    wow, i suppose the same sort of joke could be said of women with regards to swallowing rather than sucking……….but i think i would have my nuts handed to me for writing that one, as opposed to men handing you your ovaries for this gem

    that aside…. it was entertaining to read (honest laughter, not wtf laughter). however, you must have already realized that its not equality your striving for, if it were, you would take it as a sign of respect when one of them “frat” fellows decided to punch you in the face for writing this( or even this sites existence).

    Me, well…. ill just stick to headbutting feminists in the ovaries to show my respect (thats my swing a at a joke…. your going to casturate me arn’t you?…)

  10. Morgan Says:

    Yes men suck! No need to say it any other way. MEN SUCK!!!

  11. isme Says:

    Great post…though, you might have killed an epileptic googling gay porn…

  12. Phymnsash Says:

    very intresting

  13. thebewilderness Says:

    Me, well…. ill just stick to headbutting feminists in the ovaries to show my respect (thats my swing a at a joke…. your going to casturate me arn’t you?…)

    Completely unnecessary, given that you have done such a splendid job of wanking your stupid all on your own.

  14. Megan Says:

    Yes, exactly! Absolutely hilarious.

  15. french toast Says:

    It’s refreshing to hear someone speak the truth.

  16. Imaginary Says:

    Whoo! MEN SUCK! They are arrogant, useless and a hindrance to all progress; anything a man has accomplished, a womyn could have done better, faster, and with less damage to the environment. It’s time for men to step aside (off a cliff) and let womin take the reigns of humin civilization. They can go and rape each other in hell and leave us womin ALONE!

  17. Muhammad Says:

    @Imaginary – Yeah, men are fucking everything up and being general pricks, it makes me embarrassed to be male…but I still think guys like Louis Pasteur were awesome.

  18. Lidon Says:

    @ Mike: Men DO punch women, you idiot. And rape. And murder. Hence the phrase, “Men SUCK.”

  19. Lidon Says:

    Men committing violent acts against women is a result of *inequality*, which has obviously escaped you.

    Hey I got the same avatar as when I posted on another blog. Cool!

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