November 7, 2009
“In the late 1950s, psychologist Robert Jay Lifton studied former prisoners of war interred at Korean and Chinese camps. He determined that they’d undergone a multistep process that began with attacks on the prisoner’s sense of self and ended with what appeared to be a change in beliefs. Lifton ultimately defined a set of steps involved in the brainwashing cases he studied:
- Assault on identity
- Breaking point
- Compulsion to confess
- Channeling of guilt
- Releasing of guilt
- Progress and harmony”
That’s the beginning of this post and while originally intended only to make a larger point, it quickly turned into trigger material as it became obvious just how perfectly the life experience of the average female aligns with standard brainwashing techniques — techniques which are normally only used in a war zone against an enemy.
Considering that most of this post is simply reproduced from here, with equivalent substitutions, it shouldn’t have taken long to create. But it is with an ever increasing sense of horror that each replacement phrase was selected. Some of my revulsion is surely the accumulation of hearing about so many boys and men committing various terrible crimes lately — and notice how I left women completely out of that sentence! — but part is simple frustration. This world is sick, and no one wants to admit the extent of it’s malaise.
January 6, 2008
Most days I feel like I wondered onto the set of Sesame Street. The props which make up this imaginary world are obviously fake, but all the actors are getting paid to pretend it’s real. The actors are paid to explain simple shit to 4 year olds, but yet in order to explain simple shit to 4 year olds the producers must have a pHD. It takes a really big brain to understand the mind of a child, but yet those tiny brains can understand each other just fine.
I find that amusing, don’t you? I can’t decide how big my brain is – I’m going to go with the small one – that way I can understand the pHD too.
We tell parents to ‘train their children in the way that they should go’, and the advantages are obvious; it would never occur to a child psychologist that teaching a child respect for others should involve name-calling, coercion or dishonesty. And yet, calling a woman a whore during sex or at any other time is supposed to magically be empowering for her. Somehow, I think the four year olds are smart enough to see through that foolishness, and yet we grownups continue to tolerate the men who claim that behavior is okay .
We teach our children about ‘bad-touch’ which of course basically involves touching of the genitals by someone else; perhaps we should teach our children about ‘bad-trick-touch’, which is what happens when someone coerces a child into letting them touch her genitals in exchange for something else that the child does want — like love or affection, or some treat, and tells her it’s all good because she agreed to the bargain. Would any parent find this bargain acceptable for their child?
Somehow, I don’t think that last concept would go over too well with the patriarchy as a new teaching tool, it’s far far too similar to what goes on now, and god forbid we actually teach our children the basic theories which would fight the patriarchy where it counts and in a way that they understand.
Boys on the playground, and salespeople too, comprehend that the act of talking someone into doing something in exhange for something of lesser value is a great indicator of power and control; yet when girls are encouraged to show their titties for nothing more than a laugh in return, we are suppposed to believe the men when they say that too is empowering. The four year olds would understand immediately where true manipulation hides.
The game starts in earnest whenever they devalue sexuality – devaluing the worth of the desired thing is a marketing tool – in order to make their free access to boobies seem fair. Name-calling and harrassing the nay-sayers is an old trick too. Hiding in the shadow of one stronger than you to avoid staring in his face is the act of a coward, one who doesn’t even have the courage to do the harm himself. Even the four years olds can recognize the tactics of a bully and his groupies.
There’s nothing wrong with sex per se, it’s just that– Look. Dworkin said marriage could not be equal as long as men could rape their wives with impunity; you know, rape: against-her-will-without-her-consent kind of thing. And the woman couldn’t do a fucking thing about it because in the eyes of the law, a married woman couldn’t charge her husband with rape.
Marriage became almost equal in the US of A in the year 1993. That year is something for men to be ashamed of, not proud. That is the year American men decided married women were not completely property. The only reason it took so long was because men resisted treating women as human beings entitled to equality, using excuses and justifications to prolong the agony.
In the exact same way, you can’t have sexual equality in a society where 1 out of 4* females are raped, and yet the vast majority of their assailants are walking around without a rape conviction in their past. There is a basic injustice there, and until more men either wear their rightful badge of dishonor or men stop raping women, all men will be tarred with the same brush. This is so fucking simple a four year old could tell you that, if she could articulate the words and do the math.
Men SCREAM that women are filthy whores for daring to demand anything in return for the things we do for them; women are groomed from birth to give away our negotiating power in exchange for nothing more than the hope our good karma will be returned. Is this appropiate? We tend to teach our own children “to be nice to others” in equal measure — nevermind the fact that most girls take that message to heart on the second hearing, and most boys are still deaf on the 1000th.
Telling ourselves that little boys and little girls grow to be exactly the same when there is no proof of this is insane; it only shackles the wings of a thing that can fly, and uplifts the thing which wants to wallow in grime. How can you respect a thing while it’s foot is on your neck? Hope is not a reason to wait for change, it is a way to cope with that which does not. Reality is not a thing you get to barter with, for free. The exchange reguires you give something up, the question is: what?
http://www.auckland.ac.nz/uoa/about/news/articles/2007/10/child_abuse.cfm thanks to Starfish for the 1 in 4 figure!
http://www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-of-sexual-assault.html Also thanks to Psaquaririse for even more!
“July 5, 1993, marital rape became a crime in all 50 states, in at least one section of the sexual offense codes, usually regarding force. May 2005! New stars: AZ/VA. 30 states still have some exemptions from prosecution for rape, e.g. when the husband does not need to use force because the wife is most vulnerable (temporarily or permanently, physically or mentally legally unable to consent)! Such marital privileges are also extended to unmarried cohabitants who sexually attack their partners in CT, DE, IA, MN & WV.”
MARITAL RAPE STUDY
(J. Langhinrichsen-Rohling, C.M. Monson; Journal of Family Violence 1998) Abstract: This vignette study was conducted to determine how observers’ beliefs about marital rape are altered by the knowledge of a prior history of husband-to- wife physical violence. Participants (n = 50 college students) read three different marital rape situations; in one situation the husband had been physically violent in the past; in another he had not. In the third situation, participants were not given any information about the physical abuse history between the spouses. As expected, participants blamed the victim most for the marital rape and minimized the seriousness of the rape when they had been told that there was not a prior history of husband-to-wife physical abuse. These findings suggest that observers use a physical violence history to establish the coercion needed to determine that marital rape had occurred. The legal implications of these findings are discussed.
Somebody needs to do a post on that one in four figure. What the hell is wrong with women’s groups that they can’t be CLEAR and CONCISE, with CITATIONS? They’re so busy trying to make their pages warm and fuzzy that they forget some people want PROOF.
November 23, 2007
I am not a feminist. Please do not ever mistake me for one. Feminists love men, feminists yearn for men to seek the best within themselves, for men to be free of the terribly, terribly unfair societal expectations which forces them to be that which they are not. Feminists believe all men are human, just because men claim to be. Even when men emphasized their humanity at the point of an ancient spear or through the modern passage to manhood via 4chan, feminists can be relied upon to stand behind their boy in the hopes that he becomes a man. Feminists think that men are merely one carefully explained gender deconstruction away from enlightenment, and if the perfect magic words are never spoken to awaken the sleeping prince, then surely she has only herself to blame. The toad is never responsible, never ever notice what’s that you say? lalala don’t make me think lalala it hurts too much lalaLA MYFINGERSAREINMYEARSICAN’THEARYOU.
But to be sure, men have improved considerably, and it is to the genuine, hard-working feminists to whom our gratitude is sincerely owed. While there is still much work to be done, the trend toward true gender equality is moving forward.
Unfortunately, trends change. That is the definition of a trend – they are not reflections upon traits which are inherent. Trends are the result of a multitude of factors, and frequently move backwards and forwards over time, sometimes taking thousands of years to ascind, plateau and decline. This is why, in the high-stakes game of women’s autonomy and safety over the centuries, trends do not impress me when compared to men’s natural or inherent desires. Let’s talk in twelve thousand years time. How many rapes do you think will occur between now and then? How many women’s voices shunted and silenced off to the side, made invisable to a blind man passing her by? Can you even imagine twelve thousand years, of one trend moving this way and that, influenced by this, and another trend moving here and there, influenced by that, with no intersection at all? You surely are aware that intersections are at the root of it all, my friend.
Feminists believe one day men will stop raping women as if it’s a national sport. That day is not today. Today, or rather last night, I was flipping though feminist blogs after a pumpin pie sugar-induced high, and came across the following story by the brillant Sparklematrix and sweet Hearrt, here’s the point:
A judge ruled they should complete a rehabilitation program to prevent them repeating their “callous” crimes.
They filmed themselves raping her repeatedly, copies sold for $5 each, and because that just wasn’t enough, they also set fire to her hair, urinated on her, and wrote the name of their home-made video production on her breast, which was cleverly entitled, “CUNT – The Movie”. Their mammas were shocked, denied that their sweet little angels could have ever done such a thing, and naturally blamed the girl. I don’t even have to read this to know what happened, history repeats itself continually. Of course they get a free pass for all this, because they were just doing what normal boys do for fun, and why do you have a problem with that???
But that’s not what compelled me to break a three month hiatus, sojourners. Oh no, this,or rather what this pattern indicates in light of some additonal information, is what motivated me into writing today. Here are the highlights, read at your own peril.
A 15-YEAR-old girl was put in a Brazilian jail cell with more than 20 men, and for a month was raped relentlessly and forced to have sex for food, human rights groups say.
“She was raped from day one” at the jail in Para state, a Children and Adolescent Defence Centre (Cedeca) spokeswoman said.
“Nobody really knows what she was charged with. She was a suspect in a robbery but police were unable to tell us which robbery. There was no formal charge,” Ms Cohen said.
Media reports of the case have sparked outrage across Brazil, especially since it closely followed an earlier incident of a 23-year-old woman who was also jailed in Para state for one month together with 70 men.
A month is not an accident. A flimsy excuse without proof or evidence to lock a 15 year old girl up with 20 men for a month is premeditated sex slavery and torture. A second victim, while not technically enough to constitue a pattern, at least indicates the general attitude toward women and sexualized violence, given that necessity requires the willful complicity of many layers of deliberate blindness, especially in a government run facility, for it to have happend at all. Who really knows for sure how many other women were simply murdered after the men had their fun, or too afraid to talk? Does it matter? Numerous management personel had to have known, and no one cared one whit until their month of fun was up. I’m sure they’re all good family men, and well respected in their communities. Their mothers and sisters and wives and yes even daughters will cry with one breath, “oh no, not my Nigel. Surely she was a just a prostitute, looking for overtime.”
pardon me while I puke. really I can’t stand it anymore. it is never going to be safe to be a woman in this world.
It takes an animal, or a herd of animals, to be that cruel. Some animals probably convinced themselves that “she liked it” as she sat there frozen in pain and misery, wondering if she was going to get out alive. Other animals most likely enjoyed her pain, her pain that they caused, pain that they were proud they caused. They probably laughed at her. Many more animals probably wanted to be in there but couldn’t, in there with the shit and the stink and the blood, in there watching a young girl dying inside, in there watching a young girl wishing she were dead. But that’s not the worst and you know it. You know that there are countless more animals reading about it, wishing, wishing, wishing it coulda woulda shoulda been them that got to mark her with their hate. Animals who wouldn’t go as far as these animals did, but animals who contribute in a hundred small ways every day just to let you know that because you dare to breath while being female, you will always be unsafe. Always. Animals who look just like Nigel. Animals who are Nigel.
Fuck you and your goddamn fucking Nigel. Do you understand what denial is, and that even feminists are not immune from needing a painfully logical progression of thoughts to stop? Do you understand why you shout “not my Nigel” or “but all men aren’t like that” when confronted with uncomfortable ideas? Your patriotic Nigel circle jerk is a flashing red STOP sign for your brain. Bad thought getting too close? Hit the brakes! Just focus on your safe, comforting Nigel, your personal suitcase of Nigels in a field of predators who would willing throw every women under the bus but you. You can stop thinking now, you’ve reached your destination. You don’t have to take the next logical thought in the queue. You don’t have to face an unbearable reality, because you have one stinking lousy ONE distraction to focus on: Nigel.
A friend of mine once explained to me why years ago, why white folks didn’t want to admit flat out that racism existed. But somehow she doesn’t understand why misogynists hide their of hatred of women under a guise of misdirections. She doesn’t understand why misogynists deny and minimize the problems facing women long after proof to the contrary has been presented. She doesn’t understand why misogynists will want to clarify and argue definitions until she is blue in the face, and still ask for more and maybe “can we start at the beginning again, please, I’m confused”. She doesn’t understand why most of society nonchalantly perpetuates the myths that causes real-life harm to real-life women every single day – even though everybody and their grandma has heard at least a trillion gender deconstructions by now. She wants them to admit that there exists an actual hatred and hostile War on Women.
Admitting a problem exists is only desirable when the goal is solving the problem.
The good done by men does not compensate for the harm done to ALL women.
Trends change, inherency is forever.
There is way out, my darling sojourners… If you but blow right through that stop sign and never look back. Please visit again, and thanks for reading. Erstwhile wayward travelers may expect some friendly feminst disagreement, lost baggage, inclimate weather, or other Acts of Goddess to be generated by this humble blog. I said, dearest sojourners, that MEN SUCK and they shall prove me right. If you should wish to have any outgoing links disabled, just say the word. Satsuma at Amy’s Brain provided
inspiration theft for the lalaLA bit, they always know just what to say over there.
August 28, 2007
Men suck, really. Great big goober gobs of male suckage. In, fact men suck so much that I’m going to say it fifty times in this one post alone. Why do men suck more than your dad on Hoover Dam, you ask? Because periodically I type the words “men suck” into Google, and feminists would never guess what pops up each and every time. A thousand pages of men *not* sucking, that’s what. Somehow very few women must ever type that phrase (MEN SUCK) because what I get instead of MEN SUCKING is a misogynistic rebuttal to MEN WHO SUCK.
Imagine me, tired from a long day of MEN SUCKING and wanting nothing more than to hear how many other women think MEN SUCK, and the first thing that pops up is step-by-step instructions on how to buy a foreign wife and smuggle her though customs without the in-laws finding out. MEN SUCK big hairy donkey dicks. I can say that because hate speech is frequently confused with free speech, but usually only when the subject is non-male, so my saying that MEN SUCK could possibly bring down the wrath of MEN WHO SUCK and especially MEN WHO SUCK DONKEY DICKS.
Ever wonder why Google doesn’t cache more women writing MEN SUCK? It could be because we of the lucidity would never be so droll as to type MEN SUCK; we of the verbosity would be more likely to fling “masculine culture predisposes one to suckalicious vascuity” into the ether like so much verbal confetti, quickly followed by “chromosomal Y-orientated suckadity pre-dates infinity” — and how do you google for that? Real women do not write “MEN SUCK”. Real women have standards, and de-gracing our keyboards with “MEN SUCKING DONKEY DICKS” is a tad beyond the pale. If a woman were smart enough to wade through all the manipulative marketing borzhwa which tells her from birth onward that she is nothing without a MAN WHO SUCKS, then she is likely smart enough to find a more elequent method of expressing that sentiment without resorting to the undeniably plebian, MEN SUCK.
According to my top-secret feminazi manifesto, we can’t even say what rotten shits men really are, for fear potential allies will be spontaneously discombobulated by the truth. Dearest genteel sojourners and wayward travelers, this makes no sense to me. You either comprehend that a long pattern of male control-freakiness exists, or you find reality easier to ignore. You either think women are endowed with full humanity and that automatically includes basic RESPECT, or you don’t and look for excuses to justify your pre-existing bigotry. If the rantings of one “man-hating” evil bitch is enough to loosen your mask of brotherly love and support for gender equality, then your mask is hereby exposed for what it hides: a two-faced, back-stabbing, double-dealing, lying DOG who was already shopping excuses for your preemptive backslide.
Dearest sojourners, I am so very tired of persnickety accusations that if only we would tone down our rhetoric, then men would not hack our forums and drive our finest off the internet. How does it come to pass that their choices for their actions are our responsibility?
Perhaps someday I’ll tell you how I really feel, but in the meantime this will do: MEN SUCK. Since all those half-baked fratmonkeys on steriods enjoy rousing rape “humor”, I hope they will appreciate my little witticism. It’s the fem version, though, so I don’t expect them to get it. I do expect for myself, however, the exact same thing that they demand every single day for themselves no matter where they go — the right to speak without being harrassed by fucking animals. So without further ado, here it is:
All men are not rapists & therefore some MEN SUCK less than others
All men are not assholes & therefore some MEN SUCK less than others
All men are not wife beaters & therefore some MEN SUCK less than others
All men are not feminist forum hackers & therefore some MEN SUCK less than others
All men are not misogynist control-freaks & therefore some MEN SUCK less than others
IT’S A JOKE PINHEADS, LIGHTEN UP!