Now that you’re liberated, show us your tits

January 6, 2008

porn rape men suck

Most days I feel like I wondered onto the set of Sesame Street.  The props which make up this imaginary world are obviously fake, but all the actors are getting paid to pretend it’s real.  The actors are paid to explain simple shit to 4 year olds, but yet in order to explain simple shit to 4 year olds the producers must have a pHD.  It takes a really big brain to understand the mind of a child, but yet those tiny brains can understand each other just fine.

I find that amusing, don’t you?  I can’t decide how big my brain is – I’m going to go with the small one – that way I can understand the pHD too.

We tell parents to ‘train their children in the way that they should go’, and the advantages are obvious; it would never occur to a child psychologist that teaching a child respect for others should involve name-calling, coercion or dishonesty.  And yet, calling a woman a whore during sex or at any other time is supposed to magically be empowering for her.  Somehow, I think the four year olds are smart enough to see through that foolishness, and yet we grownups continue to tolerate the men who claim that behavior is okay .

We teach our children about ‘bad-touch’ which of course basically involves touching of the genitals by someone else; perhaps we should teach our children about ‘bad-trick-touch’, which is what happens when someone coerces a child into letting them touch her genitals in exchange for something else that the child does want — like love or affection, or some treat, and tells her it’s all good because she agreed to the bargain.  Would any parent find this bargain acceptable for their child?

Somehow, I don’t think that last concept would go over too well with the patriarchy as a new teaching tool, it’s far far too similar to what goes on now, and god forbid we actually teach our children the basic theories which would fight the patriarchy where it counts and in a way that they understand. 

Boys on the playground, and salespeople too, comprehend that the act of talking someone into doing something in exhange for something of lesser value is a great indicator of power and control; yet when girls are encouraged to show their titties for nothing more than a laugh in return, we are suppposed to believe the men when they say that too is empowering.  The four year olds would understand immediately where true manipulation hides.

The game starts in earnest whenever they devalue sexuality – devaluing the worth of the desired thing is a marketing tool –  in order to make their free access to boobies seem fair.  Name-calling and harrassing the nay-sayers is an old trick too.  Hiding in the shadow of one stronger than you to avoid staring in his face is the act of a coward, one who doesn’t even have the courage to do the harm himself.  Even the four years olds can recognize the tactics of a bully and his groupies.

There’s nothing wrong with sex per se, it’s just that– Look.  Dworkin said marriage could not be equal as long as men could rape their wives with impunity; you know, rape: against-her-will-without-her-consent kind of thing.  And the woman couldn’t do a fucking thing about it because in the eyes of the law, a married woman couldn’t charge her husband with rape. 

Marriage became almost equal in the US of A in the year 1993. That year is something for men to be ashamed of, not proud.  That is the year American men decided married women were not completely property.  The only reason it took so long was because men resisted treating women as human beings entitled to equality, using excuses and justifications to prolong the agony.

In the exact same way, you can’t have sexual equality in a society where 1 out of 4* females are raped, and yet the vast majority of their assailants are walking around without a rape conviction in their past.  There is a basic injustice there, and until more men either wear their rightful badge of dishonor or men stop raping women, all men will be tarred with the same brush.  This is so fucking simple a four year old could tell you that, if she could articulate the words and do the math.

Men SCREAM that women are filthy whores for daring to demand anything in return for the things we do for them; women are groomed from birth to give away our negotiating power in exchange for nothing more than the hope our good karma will be returned.  Is this appropiate?  We tend to teach our own children “to be nice to others” in equal measure — nevermind the fact that most girls take that message to heart on the second hearing, and most boys are still deaf on the 1000th.

Telling ourselves that little boys and little girls grow to be exactly the same when there is no proof of this is insane; it only shackles the wings of a thing that can fly, and uplifts the thing which wants to wallow in grime.  How can you respect a thing while it’s foot is on your neck?  Hope is not a reason to wait for change, it is a way to cope with that which does not.  Reality is not a thing you get to barter with, for free.  The exchange reguires you give something up, the question is:  what? 

———————————————-

http://www.auckland.ac.nz/uoa/about/news/articles/2007/10/child_abuse.cfm  thanks to Starfish for the 1 in 4 figure! 

http://www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-of-sexual-assault.html  Also thanks to Psaquaririse for even more!
http://www.ncmdr.org/state_law_chart.html
“July 5, 1993, marital rape became a crime in all 50 states, in at least one section of the sexual offense codes, usually regarding force. May 2005! New stars: AZ/VA.  30 states still have some exemptions from prosecution for rape, e.g. when the husband does not need to use force because the wife is most vulnerable (temporarily or permanently, physically or mentally legally unable to consent)! Such marital privileges are also extended to unmarried cohabitants who sexually attack their partners in CT, DE, IA, MN & WV.”

————————–

MARITAL RAPE STUDY
(J. Langhinrichsen-Rohling, C.M. Monson; Journal of Family Violence 1998) Abstract:  This vignette study was conducted to determine how observers’ beliefs about marital rape are altered by the knowledge of a prior history of husband-to- wife physical violence. Participants (n = 50 college students) read three different marital rape situations; in one situation the husband had been physically violent in the past; in another he had not. In the third situation, participants were not given any information about the physical abuse history between the spouses. As expected, participants blamed the victim most for the marital rape and minimized the seriousness of the rape when they had been told that there was not a prior history of husband-to-wife physical abuse. These findings suggest that observers use a physical violence history to establish the coercion needed to determine that marital rape had occurred. The legal implications of these findings are discussed.
http://www.springerlink.com/content/uw34413380522484/

 Somebody needs to do a post on that one in four figure.  What the hell is wrong with women’s groups that they can’t be CLEAR and CONCISE, with CITATIONS?  They’re so busy trying to make their pages warm and fuzzy that they forget some people want PROOF. 

9 Responses to “Now that you’re liberated, show us your tits”

  1. m Andrea Says:

    I forgot I lost the link I wanted to use for that one in four figure. There was a UK story not too long along about a recent study in New Zealand or Australia which had found one in four women had been assaulted. Trying to find an alternative was an ordeal, and I gave up after searching for a couple hours. However I found several African nations also reporting that number, but no cites in the article. Rape is very popular, it seems.

  2. Starfish Says:

    That 1 in 4 figure is fairly consistent, worldwide. You’d think people would give up quibbling about that, and grow alarmed. But, no.

    Another 1 in 4 figure that’s been in the news here recently is about sexual abuse before the age of 15.

    http://www.auckland.ac.nz/uoa/about/news/articles/2007/10/child_abuse.cfm

    “A study by The University of Auckland indicates that about one in four New Zealand women have been victims of child sexual abuse before the age of 15. 23% of women in urban areas and 28% in rural areas experienced some form of sexual abuse as a child.

    In the majority of cases one perpetrator was involved, usually a male family member, and around half of the women had experienced the abuse on more than one occasion.”

    The abstract, that was all I can access at the journal it was published in doesn’t give much more detail than what I’ve linked.

  3. Starfish Says:

    I just posted here, I thought. Did it disappear into the ethers?

  4. m Andrea Says:

    Yes, that it was it! Thank you very much! Although I was kinda studied out, so I had stopped searching the studies, and was reading news articles.

  5. pisaquaririse Says:

    Here is the CDC’s figure :
    (http://www.cdc.gov/ncipc/dvp/The%20Truth%20About%20Rape%20Final.pdf)
    The same ratio is given on the Rainn site:
    http://www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-of-sexual-assault.html

    –but I too remember the 1 in 4 number. I will keep looking…

    Oh and the kids! The revolution would be on its way MUCH faster if we could just get to the darn kids!

  6. m Andrea Says:

    So okay, my evil plan is working. I have people searching for stuff and doing my research for me. As a throughly evil person, I feel strangely guilty.

    Please, only look if you’re interested, Pisaquaririse. After reading research papers for weeks on another topic, I’m needing a break from it, but I’ll start up again soon.

    http://www.oneangrygirl.net/antiporn.html has some nice stuff, but not the one in four. The CDC figure is perfect, thank you very very much!

  7. thebewilderness Says:

    Thank you Stormy!!!

  8. m Andrea Says:

    Someone who shall remain nameless glibly pointed out that all I had to type some obvious phrase into google, like “one in four women are raped”, or something like that. LOL

    Oh Stormy, that is the ONE!! Wow, thank you so very very much!!


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