But she cares more about a clean house than I do. manjoose
December 26, 2007
This is the ‘reason’ stupetufried brain-dead men routinely give for not cleaning up more and leaving all the toilet scrubbing and floor shining to the scullery maid, who doesn’t mind all that much, mainly because she’s heard that line so many times she believes the period on the end of the sentence means to stop thinking any more about it. But because my beady little eyes spy ellipses where other people see periods, I keep going. This is my take:
What he is saying is exactly what he did say, and he meant every word. He doesn’t give a shit when something, particularly of a domestic nature, bothers you. He doesn’t care, and his lack of concern is YOUR problem to cope with, not his.
And because I am an evil feminazi working overtime on christmas eve*, here is my version of the preceeding events:
“Well, hurrah-for-brains, I really don’t care all that much about shaving my legs or exercising two hours a day or depriving myself of chocolate as often as I do, because I just don’t care as much as you do that I fit into that scrap of lace you jokingly refer to as my cute little maid’s outfit whilst you bought me for christmas.
In fact, I care so little that I’m going to do what I want for a change, and I don’t give a shit that those extra pounds mean more to you than they do to me.”
See how that works? 😉 Do you understand yet that I neeeeeeed chocolate, and my neighbor will not make the mucho dark chocolate cake with four layers of creamy coffee-tinged filling and topped with a dark chocolate glaze until New Year’s? What is wrong with people? 🙂 I only have two truffles left, and they will not survive unmolested for long.
I really have no idea what is wrong with me, I once went two whole years without a drop of coco leaf and now I can’t last a day. The sad thing is, I know many women who deprive themselves of chocolate heaven on a daily basis, all because they are trying desperately to be thin enough to appease their man. And yet, their dood doesn’t seem to do much besides pay half the household bills from his 40hr a week paycheck, and to make matters worse, would probably discourage the pouring of hot chocolate glazing on his weenier. Dood! Chocolate deprivation is an on-going, non-stop 24/7/364 ordeal! That extra paycheck isn’t worth the hassle.
*Crudeness Early Warning System Activated! Detection Status: Incoming!*
I swear the only reason men want women to swallow is because they know their sardine flavored baby-batter tastes disgusting, and they want to see who is stupid enough to pretend to like it. Given that the whole point of the patriarchy’s existence is to convince us to accept our sexbot-babymaker status as a higher calling and our only purpose so that we should just bend-over with a smile and a kiss, it really shouldn’t be surprising they want us to enjoy slurping down toxic sludge while pretending it’s manna from heaven.
Since I’m still rambling. Why all the misogynistic jokes about smelly vaginas when manjoose really does taste like the sardine encrusted salt at the bottom of my fishtank? If men find the smell so awful, then why do they coerce women into sex before the woman has a chance to decide for herself and prepare accordingly? Why do women never complain about eating crud on a daily basis but men feel they are entitled to whine about something that is washed, waxed, powdered and coifed before every opening night? Do women actually like day-old sardine juice, or is that one of those things the BetterWife™ pretends isn’t really happening because she doesn’t want it to?
No matter what a man does to prevent it, his spewage will always taste worse than chocolate, I think that’s my point.
Apologies for broaching delicate sensitivities; my other neighbor gave me some homemade apple wine from my apples I gave him this past summer, and yes I had
a smidgen earlier too much. *I had to let this one age overnight, to see if I still wanted to post the naughty bits. But it had to be included, to match the photochop. When I wrote it, I was thinking about all the interesting search phrases that people have used. “raped grandma is number 1! Also, hi Scarlet! Welcome!